Changes
by MissBunBun09
Summary: Ichigo has had a crush on Grimmjow but does Grimmjow feel the same for him? YAOI PEOPLE! Final Chapter Up!
1. Chapter 1

Hey everybody I was thinking of starting my 2nd story along time ago but I was so caught up with my first one.

Don't worry I haven't abandoned my other story! I jus wanna see how far I go with this one.

I DON'T OWN BLEACH

WARNING BAD LANGUAGE AND YAOI IN THIS STORY

"Trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs, there's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb. No one knows…" I sang the words of one of my favorite 3 doors down songs. I loved the band because I could relate to almost every song. I doubted the vocalist was singing to a guy, but it fitted so perfectly that maybe he was gay. Like me.

I won't start with the beginning, which would be when I realized I was gay, but more in the middle... five years later. My parents already know I'm gay (I came out to them at 16), and after the very brief feeling of relief from the burden that was crushing me, I never talked about it again.

Only they know and they obviously want to know more, when I knew I was gay, how, did I like any one, had I been with anyone; but talking about that was next to impossible. So now, five years after I knew I was gay and four years after coming out to my parents, is as if I never had told them; after a while they stopped questioning me, realizing I was never going to talk about it with them.

So now I sat in front of the computer, waiting for my friends to pick me up, singing along with my favorite band. As I sang with them, my heart tearing as I thought of the many crushes I had had. Some bigger than others, but all of them stayed secretly stored in my broken heart. Every time I listened to 3 doors down the pain and the love that I kept buried deep inside, resurfaced, breaking my torn heart every time. I would remember the pain and think that someday my heart would blow, my body would break or I would just die, how could I deal with a broken heart that kept breaking? I would have a crush on one of my friends, I would sense he was gay, I would get crushed with the realization that he's not, and then I would be dead on my feet as I watched him making out with a girl, and all the while hiding my pain, trying not to let my straight act get broken.

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone. My heart skipped when I saw the name on the bright screen. "Hurry bitch!" Grimmjow's sexy voice said on the other side before hanging up. I turned off the computer and rushed down the stairs.

"Bye mom!" I shouted as I opened the door.

"Bye, honey! Be careful!" she said as I closed the door behind me and walked towards Grimmjow's BMW. He honked as I walked towards the passenger's seat.

"Hey bud" he greeted me with a smile. In the few seconds the light turned on when I opened the door I could see his gorgeous face. I smiled at my latest crush, Grimmjow.

We had been friends for a few months, ever since we got most classes together. One word to describe Grimmjow would be perfect. He had changing, bright eyes; sometimes green (like tonight), Most of the time cyan colored, sometimes a mix between green and blue. He had a perfect, white smile, his face was round and hard, his hair was a light blue and his body was like a god. With his smile my heart melted and with his body my dick erected. Tonight he was wearing an opened, white shirt, displaying his hard and smooth chest. His biceps were bulging as he drove to the club.

"Did you talk to Nel?" he asked as I looked at his beautiful face. I couldn't help but smile.  
"Nah, I talked to Orihime, she said they were definitely going"  
"Sweet. I'm so fucking horny, dude. I'm so getting a piece of Nel tonight man" his eyes shone. I chuckled, burying the light torn in my chest. I shifted my position so he couldn't see my dick was hard from looking at him. Even his smell was intoxicating.

"What bout you, Ichigo. Who you going after tonight?" he asked looking at me.

"You" I teased.

"Oh, baby, and you're looking so sexy" he said laughing as he made a face. I laughed and turned to see out the window.

I wasn't nearly as good looking as him, but I was far from ugly. I was 5'9, lean and hard. My eyes were golden brown and my hair is orange. If I wanted I could fuck several girls in school, but my dick does not point in their direction. I looked at Grimmjow as he turned on the volume on the pop song that was playing and I took the liberty to stare at him a few more seconds. He was breathtaking.

"I love you" I said without thinking. My body fell cold and my insides were burning as I realized what I had just said. He looked at me to see if I was kidding but when he saw my panicked look he said "what?"

"Uh-"was all I could say. My face felt it was burning and my hands started shaking. Was he going to kick me out, was he gonna punch me? He was definitely going to tell everyone. How could I be so stupid? He stared blankly in front of him and stopped at the red light. Say something, do something. Oh god, oh god. I looked at his expression, trying to figure out what he was thinking, what his next move was, what I was going to do. He turned to see me with his bright, green eyes; I couldn't read the expression on his face. Suddenly he moved his face closer to mine and kissed me.

My fantasy was broken when Grimmjow's cell phone rang. "Oi!" he answered, resting his elbow on the side of his door. I sighed and looked down at the very visible hard cock in my pants. I took a deep, sad breath as I looked out the window once more.

A few minutes later we got to the club. We got out of the car and I followed him to get a glimpse of his perfectly round, bubble butt in his tight jeans. I had to fight an impossible fight to keep my dick from going hard, and to keep my body from throwing myself on top of him and fucking him, kissing him, sucking him- Stop. That was no way to keep my dick from going hard.

In clubs was where my straight act was at its best, I would drink, I would dance and I would make out with one of the girls in our group, tonight was Rukia's turn… again. We were dancing as we moved to the beat of the song. As we kissed I tried to keep my eyes closed, this was really hard for me. I guess because I really didn't want to be kissing any girl. Just Grimmjow. I though of how he was probably making out with Nel, I thought about who was looking at us, hopefully there was someone looking.  
Then I heard laughing and a flash gave me an excuse to open my eyes; just as I hoped four of the groups were standing close to us laughing.

"Nice, Rukia!" one of the girls giggled. Rukia reacted by smiling and pulling me closer to her. By no means was she ugly; she had dark hair to her shoulders, smooth creamy skin, slender body, nice ass… she was one of the hottest girls in fact. And that was the problem; she was one of the hottest girls, not the hottest jock god, Grimmjow.

It was then that I saw Grimmjow grinding Nel in the dance floor; he turned to see me and laughed, winking at me. Then they started kissing, by the way he was moving I could tell he was drunk or getting there.

I resumed my drinking and the night moved on… dancing, kissing, and drinking. Around 4:30, Rukia kissed me goodbye and I saw her walk away with Nel, both swaying her hips as they left the club.

The group had left and it was just Grimmjow and me; drunken almost passed out Grimmjow, who was hugging me and saying something unintelligible. "Ok buddy" I said as I grabbed him by his waist and started carrying him out the club. I smiled as I felt his hard abs. I did love him, I thought as we walked towards his parked car; well I walked and he was more the lump over me. He kept trying to say things and laughing all the way to the car.

"'Kay Grimmjow I need the keys" I said as he rested on the car, seconds away from passing out. "Keyz…." He said and laughed. "Argh" I said annoyed as I reached inside his pockets trying to find his keys. It turned me on how close I was to his big dick. But then again just being near him always turned me on. I guided him to the passenger's seat and then I sat in the driver's seat.

"Where keys. Ichigo… "he said with his eyes closed.  
"I have the keys, Grimmjow. I'm driving us home"  
"Mmmm" he said before passing out.

Getting huge grimmjow out the car, up the stairs and into my room while trying to be quiet was an ordeal. When I finally threw him on my bed I stood in front of him trying to catch my breath. As I did I realized I was standing in front of him… sleeping, godlike Grimmjow. He was spread on the bed with his arms opened and his legs hanging. My breathing normalized and my cock started hardening, reacting to what I was about to think.

Grimmjow was passed out on my bed. I could stare at him all I wanted, I could… touch him, all I wanted? No it's wrong, I said to myself, but my body urged me to do it. My chest was burning and my dick was completely hard now. I looked around the dark room. The door was locked, my parents were asleep and Grimmjow would definitely would not wake up. And even if he did, he would never remember. I bit my lower lip. I've buried my urges too long now.

I started by touching his hard thigh, waiting for him to wake up. Nothing. I touched his hard bicep. Nothing. I squeezed his hard bicep. Nothing. I ran my hands through his chest and down to rock abdomen. Nothing. Never had I been so turned on, my dick felt it would explode. I ran my hand through his perfect face; I ran my finger over his luscious lips and then caressed his neck. I stood a moment; staring down at him… he hadn't moved a bit. I smiled at the boldness of my next move, my chest burning with anticipation and tingling with the fear of being caught… of him waking up and finding me on top of him. I decided to sit on his lap.

I positioned myself so that his bulge would be right under my entrance, so I could feel and imagine I was riding my jock crush. I ran my hands through his body again, this time putting my hands inside his shirt; I smiled at how great his hard, smooth body felt. It was then I noticed I was doing light movements with my hip, burying myself on top of him, feeling his dick more and more. I heard him moan so low I wasn't even sure he did it. So I stopped, waiting for a movement or a sound, but nothing else happened. Except one thing… his dick was getting hard from my light hip movements. I decided to get off of him and grab the bulge.

At first I squeezed it on the outside… It was great, more than I had ever thought I would be able to do. But then I decided I wanted more. I looked at his face for any sign of him waking up as I slid my hand down his pants. I passed his pubes and then reached his thick, hardening cock. I started slowly jerking it to life inside his pants; I was dying to strip him so I could suck his also perfect cock.

But that would be too much, even if he was passed out. I tried memorizing his cock, feeling every detail so I would remember forever. I got my hand out his pants and stared down at him once more. His beautiful, serene face still sleeping. Then I did what I wanted to do the most, what I wanted to do since the moment I saw him, what I wanted to do every time I was with him.

I kissed him.

*******  
Starts out slow but I'm just building everything up. Sex WILL come soon.

Tell me what u think?


	2. Chapter 2

**So here comes the second chapter I hope u like it!**

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH!!!!!**

**Thanks 4 the review's!**

**WARNING YAOI & BAD LANGUAGE! **

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The next morning I woke up around 10:30. I stretched inside the sleeping bag I retrieved. The night before I had the courage to touch every part of Grimmjow's body while he was passed out, but if he woke up to find both of us in one bed I didn't think he'd like it. I moved my morning wood against the waistband of my boxers and went to the bathroom. When I returned, Grimmjow was moaning on my bed.  
"I thought you were dead, man" I smirked. He moaned in reply. My heart melted as I stared at him, even in the morning and in pain he was beautiful.

"What time-"he said in a hoarse voice.  
"Almost 11" I answered as I sat down on my sleeping bag. He had been squeezing his eyes shut; I guessed he had a headache. As I sat in front of him, he opened his eyes to look at me and then immediately looked somewhere else. He then stood and went to the bathroom. He locked the door behind him.

"Hey, Hun" my mom smiled as I went downstairs. "You guys had fun last night?"  
"Yeah, it was good. Grimmjow stayed over"  
"Alright. What time did you get in?" she asked as she sat on the table to eat her muffin.  
"Around 5" I replied while getting some cereal for myself.  
"Were you drunk?" My dad asked, looking away from his newspaper to give me an accusatory look.  
"No, not me" I smiled.

"I can see that" my mom said as Grimmjow came down the stairs. There was no way he could hide last night's drunkenness. I chuckled.  
"Good morning, Grimmjow. Do you want anything to eat?" she asked as he struggled to seat down on the chair beside me.  
"Morning. Maybe some orange juice, please" his voice was not as hoarse as a few minutes ago, but it still sounded awful. Awfully perfect, for me.

I stood to pour him a glass of juice and handed it to him. "Thanks" he said taking it without looking at me.  
"Well" my dad started and then finished his coffee. "We're off"  
"Where you going?" I asked as I had a spoonful of corn flakes.  
"We're going to your Aunt's house to see the baby" my mom said as she placed the plates in the dishwasher. "We'll be back by lunchtime" she smiled and headed to the door.  
"Bye" I said.  
"Take care, Grimmjow!" my dad said loudly next to him, making Grimmjow cringe in pain. My dad chuckled.  
"Bye, sport" my dad said patting my back and joining my mom out the door.

"So uh, I guess I should go" Grimmjow said a little nervous. I didn't want him to leave. "Sure? We can hang out" I suggested.  
"Nah" he still wasn't looking at me "I'll see you Monday. Thanks man" he said heading to the door and leaving me alone with an overwhelming feeling of fear. Did he know what I did? How could he, he was completely out of it. But that's the only explanation to how he was acting. No, if he did know he would've probably be really mad not just nervous and uncomfortable. What if he didn't want to be my friend? I had known for a while that he would never look at me like I looked at him, but at least we were friends… I couldn't bear not having him as anything. Stop… I was just torturing myself, everything's cool. I'll see him Monday and it would all be the same.

The fear stayed in place.

Monday came and I was really nervous. The way he would act now would tell me if my fears are right or not. I sat down at my usual place in the back of Literature class, it was almost starting and Grimmjow hadn't arrived.

My heart was pounding hard in my chest. "Please, Please, Please" I begged, I didn't want to lose him.

A minute before the class started, Grimmjow walked inside. His beautiful features lid the room as he entered. I waited for him to look my way so I could signal him to sit down next to me (Although until now I never had to signal him, he would always sit down next to me). But he didn't look my way and he didn't sit down beside me. He sat in an empty seat in front of the class.

I felt cold pain start from my heart and spread to my entire chest. I'd lost him.  
After the third class he did the same thing I decided to send him a text message. "WTF?"

"Come on, come on, come on" I thought as I waited for him to take his cell phone out his pocket and see my message. But he didn't, and like he had been doing all morning, once class was over he bolted out and I couldn't get a chance to talk to him.

"Hey, killer. Aren't you gonna tell me what happened Saturday" Shirosaki appeared next to me and placed his arm around me. My mind immediately went to me touching Grimmjow and panicked.  
"What?"  
"Rukia, man!" he laughed punching me lightly on my chest.  
"Oh right. It was nothing" I smiled cockily. I wasn't in the mood for this. We kept walking through the crowded hallway towards the cafeteria. Shirosaki was 5, 9 same height as me. He looked almost remotely similar to me except he was an albino. He had White hair, bright yellow eyes, broad back and round ass. Because of his cute face and gorgeous eyes and great body, he had quite a large fan club. But he wasn't as perfect as Grimmjow.

The day went by and I never could talk to Grimmjow, he didn't answer my message and he never sat next to me. "What a shitty day" I thought once I was home, lying on my bed thinking of Grimmjow.

The ringing of the doorbell made me bolt upright. Suddenly I smiled thinking it was Grimmjow. My body was tingly with expectation as I ran down the stairs and to the door. "It's Grimmjow. Grimmjow" I thought, trying to make it true. I opened the door to see Grimmjow… not standing there.  
"Hey Renji" I said halfheartedly.

"Your parents home?" he asked excitedly as he walked in.  
"Nah, why?" His reply was to take my cock in his hands.  
Renji was my neighbor, and we had been fooling around occasionally for about three years. He laughed as he took his jacket off and threw it on the living room couch, heading up the stairs to my room. I sighed as I watched him go up. Renji was not ugly, he was taller than me, had red hair and round brown eyes. He had a pretty nice mouth and body was like a Greek god, and definitely not cut. He had strong arms though and a big, round ass.

I wasn't in the mood for this. But… maybe its what I needed. I went up the stairs to my room and found Renji shirtless on my bed.  
"Can't live without my cock, huh?" I asked cockily.  
He smiled "Sure, that little dick?"

"My dick's bigger than yours, fucker" I said as my dick started going hard. He noticed and bit his lower lip. He was lying on the bed with his legs spread, so I went and laid on top of him, rubbing my hard dick against his. I started kissing him. He had good lips for that, but I didn't want romance with him… at least not today. So I stood leaving him hungry for more and started taking my pants off. He did the same. We stripped and once again I laid on top of him, rubbing my naked skin against his. No kissing this time.

I kneeled on top of him and turned him around. I squeezed his butt cheeks and he giggled. I rested myself on top of him, running my dick through his entrance as he squeezed it by tightening his cheeks. I already had pre cum so I decided that would work for lube… so without warning I thrusted my dick inside his ass. He moaned with pleasure as he raised his hips and then started making circled movements. I lifted myself from his back, took him by his hip and raised him so he would be an all fours. I started fucking him faster while he gave little moans of pleasure. He had a really great ass.

I rested on my legs and pulled him slightly on top of me so he would ride my cock. He moaned harder as he moved up and down, faster and faster. Then he just moved his hips with incredible speed, and I moaned. Then Grimmjow came to my mind. His hard chest, his perfect face, his rock hard abs, his arms, his big, thick dick. His dick in my mouth, his dick in my ass, fucking me like a mad man, my dick in his perfectly round, tight ass.

I almost screamed with pleasure as I started cumming in Renji's ass. His hip movements were slow now, trying to take every last drop of cum. He fell off my cock and I rested next to him. It was what I needed, I felt so relaxed now. Renji lied next to me, stroking his cock fast and hard. He moaned lightly as he looked at me. Why wasn't I with Renji? He wasn't as hot as Grimmjow but he was attractive and a good guy. Why was I torturing myself with a relationship that would never be. I started kissing Renji and running my hand through his naked body. Seconds after I did he moaned in my mouth and cum landed on my arm.

"Let's go shower" I suggested. He followed me like an excited dog follows food.  
As the warm water fell on top of us, Renji rested himself with his back against me and pulled me by my hips towards him. My dick was soft now and it felt great against his naked ass. He turned around to kiss me and then got on his knees and started sucking my dick back to life.

All I could think of was Grimmjow.

Renji had left and I was clean and recuperated on my bed, passing through the channels, not paying attention at what was on. Suddenly I realized I left my Biology notebook in school.

"Fuck! Shit, shit, shit!" I said as I ran downstairs and out to my car. I had Biology first thing tomorrow morning and the teacher had left us questions for homework, and was a real bitch when it came to assignments.  
"Fuuuck!" I said once I found my notebook wasn't in my locker. "Shit, where is It" I thought.

Maybe in the gym locker room. I closed the small, metal door and ran to the changing room. Once there I headed towards my locker. Standing in front of it I stopped. There was a noise in the room.  
Water dripping? No. I started walking, following the sound. "It was kissing!" I realized excitedly. If there's kissing here it means I'm not the only gay guy. What if it were jocks? I was getting excited, eager to find who was making out in the locker room.

Finally I saw the two shirtless bodies at the very end of the room, making out against the wall. The guy against the wall had his eyes closed but I recognized him immediately: Shirosaki! I couldn't believe it; I never would have suspected he was gay. I had fantasized about things like this for years. My dick started getting hard.

Then I examined the guy against him, the guy whose naked back I could see. Before my mind could really process it I felt a hole grow in my chest, a cold, painful hole as I realized Shirosaki was making out with Grimmjow.

Suddenly sensing they were not alone, Shirosaki opened his eyes and looked at me in panic. Grimmjow turned around and opened his eyes with terror. The three of us stood in silence, petrified with shock. I opened my mouth, not to speak, but to breathe.

"Ichigo" Grimmjow said in a barely audible tone. I had to get out of there. After seconds of petrified shock, I ran out of the locker room and to my car. I wanted to run so fast that I would leave the pain behind, the pain that was definitely going to kill me.

My cell phone rang a few times since I left the school. As I sped to get to my house I still couldn't breathe, I wanted to cry but I couldn't let my parents see me. I swallowed the pain, burying it me inside me, but it wouldn't last long.

Years of lying to everyone and to myself, hiding who I really was, pain I felt because I loved a friend, a guy. I knew nothing would ever happen between Grimmjow and me, I knew I would see him with girls, wishing I was her, secretly wishing he would love me back, that he would be with me. But I never thought I would see him with another guy. I always hoped that if he was by some miracle gay he would naturally be with me. But he didn't. I was not enough. I would spend my life hiding and alone.

I was relieved to find that my parents weren't home yet, so I ran up the stairs and locked myself in the bathroom. I turned on the hot water, stripped and stepped inside. After a few seconds of the embrace of the warm water, I was soaked. I decided to sit and rest my head against the wall, the warm water still falling on me.

"Crawling in my skin, this wounds they will not heal…" a Linkin Park song came to my mind as I cried under the warm water. I started crying and I couldn't stop. The hole inside my chest had taken my entire body; all the pain I had buried had blown the walls that I had built around it, now I couldn't hide it any longer. It hurt too much. "Oh god" I said pained as I remember Grimmjow and Shirosaki. "Please kill me" I begged. I didn't want to feel anymore.

Two hours later I was numb and on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Grimmjow had stopped calling and he didn't send me any messages, I guess he didn't know what to say. He was probably suffering because he didn't know how I would react. I should probably tell him its ok, suddenly excited by the prospect of talking to him. Usually I only looked for an excuse to talk to him.

"He doesn't want you" a voice in my head told me, and my tiny hint of excitement was crushed. Its good then that he was suffering… why didn't he want to be with me?

"Argh" I said annoyed. I heard once that when somebody doesn't want you it has nothing to do with you; you just simply aren't his type. Then I thought of Renji, I had a feeling that to him it was more than just fooling around. Why didn't I want him? It had nothing to do with him, he's cute and cool and a good fuck. I chuckled dryly. It was not him; I just didn't like him that way. It was the same with Grimmjow. It's not me.

Thinking this way helped a little. But it still sucked. "Fuck" I said tired and defeated.

"Why won't you love me" was the last thing I thought before falling asleep.

* * *

Next day I was dreading seeing Shirosaki and Grimmjow, although a small part of me was sort of happy because Grimmjow would definitely be after me, instead of the other way around. Even if he didn't want to be with me, it would feel good.

Of course, Ms Bitch was hard on me since I didn't do the assignment. But I didn't care; I was relieved because Biology was one class I didn't have with Grimmjow. However, it was a class I had with Shirosaki. I sat at the back, not paying attention to anything, but I could see Shirosaki looked at me occasionally. When the bell rang I didn't know if I should bolt out the classroom or talk to Shirosaki, but before I could decide what to do he was standing next to me.

"Hey" I said indifferently.

"Oi" he said nervous. He was fidgeting as I stood in front of him. Everyone was already out the room as he struggled to speak. He looked even cuter when he was nervous, I felt bad for him.  
"Listen, I won't say anything to anybody" He looked at me with bright eyes and sighed in relief.

"Oh my god, thanks man. I didn't know-"he still didn't know what to say. I decided I would use this opportunity to get information.  
"But you need to tell me what the fuck, dude!" I said with a smile. He smiled back nervously.

"It just sort of happened" he said looking at his feet.

"Are you gay?" I asked.

"NO!" he responded without thinking. But then hesitated. "I mean.. I don't think… I don't know"

"Did you like it?" I asked unemotionally. He looked at me; I could tell he never thought I would be asking for details.

"Uhm" he chuckled "Yeah"

"Are you going to be fuck buddies or something?" I smiled. He laughed lightly.

"Dunno. I hope hehe. We were freaked out cause we didn't know how you would react. I never thought you'd react like this. Thanks, Ichigo" he punched me tenderly on my arm. I smiled back.

"No problem" I smiled warmly and we started walking out the classroom.

"Thing is, I like girls too. I mean I've always liked them… but I don't know. I like him" A cold pain stabbed my chest.

"Oh"

"Sorry. Don't think you want to hear this. I don't think I would if it was the other way around"

"No it's cool" I said without looking at him. He smiled in relief. "Is, he… gay?" I looked at him. He stared at his feet.

"I don't know. He was sort of the one who started it" Another stab.

"Good luck" I patted his back and walked faster, leaving him behind. The numbness had gone and now the hole wanted me to fall again.

"You're late, Mr. Kurosaki" the Literature teacher said as I walked inside the class.

"Sorry" I said scanning the room. Grimmjow was sitting in his usual seat, the one next to mine. There was also another seat available, away from him. He looked at me, his body tense, waiting to see what I would do. It was up to me now. He was being an asshole and then he was making out with Shirosaki. I couldn't be next to him. I sat down away from him. Throughout the class I felt his eyes on me, or at least I thought I did...or I wanted for him to be looking at me, but I never turned around to check. Class ended and like he had done the other day, I bolted before he could talk to me.

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**Should I continue this story?**

**U tell me anyways Please Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews! The story is done, ill post the final chapter soon!**

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH!!!!**

**WARNING YAOI & BAD LANGUAGE!**

* * *

I managed to avoid Grimmjow all day and I didn't talk to Shirosaki anymore. We ran into each other a few times and he would smile a cute, thankful smile. I would smile back.

On the last class of the day, which I had with Grimmjow, I was surprised not to find him there, and also a little relieved. It was sad how our friendship had ended; if he was gay it would be too painful for me to just be the friend while he was with Shirosaki. I couldn't do it.

Class ended and I was desperate to get home. Usually I was hyperactive and funny, making everyone laugh, but that day and the day before I had been antisocial and quiet. Few of my friends had asked me what was wrong. I would just reply by silently shaking my head.

I walked quickly out the school to the parking lot to get to my car. I stopped breathing and my chest tingled as I saw Grimmjow resting against my car, waiting for me. "Oh no" I thought.

"Hey" he said. It felt weird being this cold with him. He was so beautiful, and then I remembered him with Shirosaki, trying to keep it together. I nodded as a greeting.

"Why are you being like this?" he asked after a few seconds.  
"Like what?" I asked coldly.  
"Like this! You talked to Shirosaki and he said you were cool with him, why are you ignoring me?" he looked hurt. I felt a stab when he mentioned Shirosaki.

"You have your boyfriend, what you need me for?" I couldn't hide my jealousy.

"You're my friend, Ichigo. At least I thought you were" he stared at me. Id never seen that look on his face, a mix between anger and pain. He looked even more beautiful. "And he's not my boyfriend" he said quietly.

"You're the one who decided not to talk to me. Ever since you stayed at my house" I barked. He looked down ashamed.  
"I know. I'm sorry" I stared at him waiting for an explanation. He took a deep breath.  
"It's complicated. I freaked out" he said rubbing his neck.  
"Why?" I asked aggravated.  
"I'm not gay, ok. What happened- I don't know. I'm not gay" I stared at him silently, confused. He sighed frustrated.

"When I stayed at your house I had a dream." He hesitated, examining my face. I was growing impatient.  
"You know sexual…" he stopped again.  
"Fuck, come on, Grimmjow!" I snapped.  
"With you!" my sudden anger vanished. I stared at him in shock. The hole in my chest didn't know how to react. "So I freaked out… and then Shirosaki. I was never going to tell you 'cause I didn't want… I don't want to lose you"

My body was melting and my brain was confused." Did he make out with Shirosaki because he dreamt of me?" I thought. Then I remembered what I did that night. Maybe his mind showed him that. "What?" I asked quietly, confused.

"I'm sorry. If you wanna hit me or something it's cool, I understand if you don't want to talk to me again, but I thought if I told you why I was weird maybe you'd understand. I'm not gay" he was talking fast. I couldn't process what was happening. Did he like me?  
"Shit, say something, man" his face was hurting with expectation.

"Say it" a voice in my head urged me. "Say it. Say it. Say it!"

"I'm gay" I suddenly blurted out. His jaw dropped. "Guess now you have to choose" I meant he had to choose if he wanted to be my friend or not, but in case he was gay, I guess he did have to choose between Shirosaki and me. I pushed him gently aside and stepped in my car.

I saw his look of disbelief through my rearview window as I sped home.

That afternoon was painful. He hadn't called me; he hadn't sent me any messages. I was dying to call him, to know what he was thinking. If he wasn't gay would he reject me? It would be hypocritical of him considering he was the one who had a sex dream with me and then made out with Shirosaki. And if he was gay, would he choose me? Why would he… Shirosaki was way hotter than me. I wouldn't choose me.

I didn't want to think anymore. I didn't want to feel anymore. I put on my iPod and let myself get lost with 3 doors down. I woke up by a knock on my door, my room was really dark. I guessed it was around 8pm. I turned on the lamp next to me "Yeah" I responded to the knock while I placed my iPod on the floor. I turned to see who was inside and my heart skipped a beat.

"Hey" Grimmjow said shyly. He was wearing his gym clothes... his black shorts and his tight t-shirt.  
"Hey" I said moving into a sitting position on my bed. He closed the door behind him and slowly walked towards the edge of my bed. I waited for him to speak.  
After what seemed like hours he said "Why didn't you tell me"  
"How could I? I was sure you'd reject me"  
"What! I love you" when he said that my chest melted and burned in pain and the same time "you're my best friend, I'd never do that" he seemed sincere. We went quiet again.  
"Are you?" I asked quietly, unsure of how he would react. He struggled.  
"I don't know. I did have that dream, and I did what I did with Shirosaki… "He was confused.  
"That doesn't mean you're gay" I said disappointed.  
"Hmm." He thought for a moment. "How'd you know?"  
"It's more than just sex. I mean… its how you feel" I hated sounding corny. We went quiet again.

"I think I am then…" he said quietly, looking at his hands. I felt a sharp stab in my chest. "Shirosaki thinks he is too so" the hole was deep "good luck" I faked a smile.  
"What?" he was confused.  
"Well… you like Shirosaki right? That's how you know you are."  
"No!" he moved awkwardly to sit closer to me. "Don't you see? I was with him 'cause I had that dream" he was red and he looked down "with you"

The hole and my mind were confused. I couldn't think straight, I still couldn't believe he was gay. "I don't…"  
"I like YOU" he said looking at my eyes. "I want you"  
My entire body melted, my heart expanded. Was I dreaming? He slowly moved his hand and placed it in front of me. I slowly reached out and hold it. We looked at each other. I wasn't dreaming.  
I moved my face closer to his and stopped, looking at his beautiful face. This was too surreal.

He stared back at me, smiled a sexy, half smile and moved closer to my face. Our lips touched, sending warm, tingly shocks all over my body, He opened my lips with his tongue and we started kissing, slowly. I thought of how I've wanted him for so long, I couldn't believe it was happening. In case it was a dream I decided to kiss him more passionately. I moved closer to him and took his face with my hands. He then started caressing my back with his hand.

He started pressing his body against me until we were horizontal on the bed, never breaking our kiss, not even to breathe. I smiled thinking I didn't have to struggle to keep my eyes close.  
I ran my hands through his back and then squeezed his perfectly round cheeks. He broke the kiss to laugh. He lifted his head a little so he could look at me, I stared back at him.

"I can't believe you're gay" I said smiling, looking into his cyan colored eyes. He smiled and gently whispered in my left ear "I love you".

I couldn't deal with what I felt inside; it was more than melting, the hole in my chest was filling up with my liquefied heart.  
I kissed him hard, biting his lower lip. He moaned with pleasure. I felt his thick, hard cock against my throbbing dick. He started gently moving his hips, rubbing his dick against mine as we continued kissing.

A knock on the door made him jump off me and my heart stop beating. I sat awkwardly on the bed and he quickly stood to look out the window.

"Yeah?" I said, my hands shaking from the fear I had just felt. I sighed annoyed and relieved when I saw Renji walk inside; his eager, bright eyes changing when he saw Grimmjow looking at him.

"What's up, ren?" I asked, although I had a pretty good idea.

"Uh-" he struggled to think on what to say as he looked shyly at Grimmjow.

"Grimmjow this is Renji. Renji, Grimmjow" I said introducing them.

"Hey" Grimmjow said cooly as he took a magazine from my desk and sat on the chair in front of it.

"Hi" He looked at me and I smiled at his nervousness. "I got nothing to do so I came to see if you wanted to hang out, but-"

"Nah it's cool. Wanna watch TV?" I asked, still a little shaky as I lay on the bed. Grimmjow and Renji looked at me.  
Grimmjow was the first to move " Yeah stay, man" he said throwing the magazine on the desk and then lying on the bed next to me with his arms on the back of his head. I looked at him trying to control my laugh, apparently Grimmjow sensed Renji was gay and was possessive of me. It felt nice.

I turned to see Renji; he was frowning and had a confused look on his face.

"Sure" he said, clearly unsure.  
My bed was pretty big, so the three of us could fit perfectly without the need to be touching each other. "But he wouldn't-" My thought was interrupted as Renji lied on the bed next to me; lying closer than he needed to. I could see Grimmjow's jaw tighten.

I had a sudden image of a threesome, but I quickly buried that thought. I couldn't have my dick going hard now. The threesome sounded really hot though. Perfect actually... but last thing I wanted was to freak Grimmjow out.

Grimmjow left on Scarred. It was weird lying on the same bed with my fuck buddy who clearly had feelings for me, and the guy I thought of when I was with my fuck buddy.  
The three of us cringed when a skater fell of stairs and hit his head. Grimmjow took the opportunity to move closer to me.  
Renji did the same.

I laughed inside. The whole scene was hilarious and I still wouldn't be surprised one bit if I was in fact dreaming.  
"I should go" Grimmjow suddenly said, standing from the bed. I could see Renji smirking beside me.  
"Thought you were staying over" I panicked. I didn't want him to go. Renji's smirk disappeared.  
"I am. I'll just get some clothes and my backpack from my house. Be back in half an hour. Later, Renji" he shot a dark look his way, and before leaving the room winked at me.

I moved over so there was more distance between Renji and me.  
"Are you fucking him?" Renji suddenly accused. I looked at him and frowned "No. Why?"  
He didn't respond, he just watched another skater get his leg broken.

Once the show was over Renji quickly moved closer, trying to kiss me.  
"What?" he snapped when I moved my head. "I thought you said you weren't fucking him"  
I stood and said "I'm not, but we're sort of-" I looked down, I wasn't sure Grimmjow wanted me to call him my boyfriend, let alone let people know. Although it was Renji, my friend.  
"Oh I see" he said bitterly as he headed towards the door.  
"Ren, wait"  
"Why! You don't need me anymore. You have your boyfriend, who cares about the guy you were fucking. "  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know that-"  
"Fuck you" he interrupted "You did know I love you". My body froze and his angered face relaxed when he heard what he just said.  
I walked quickly towards him before he had a chance to run away, and hugged him. He resisted at first, but then gave in and hugged me back.  
"I'm sorry" I said quietly.  
He responded by hugging me harder, getting my crotch tight against his. He slowly started lowering his hands towards my ass.  
"Wow wait" I said pulling away. His face suddenly distorting with anger.  
I had never seen his eyes look that way; so dark and mad. He walked out without saying anything else.

"Why would he do this" a distant voice said. I wasn't sure if it was Renji.

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**The Final chapter will be posted on Saturday. But don't worry I'm working on a sequel! I Promise U That!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am sorry to say that this is the final chapter in this series. I had a fun time writing it and I know you all had a fun time reading it. Now as the author, I must ask that whether you hate the ending or love it, please don't flame this one, just a simple opinion will suffice. Flaming reviews give me writers block and writers block makes me seriously frustrated. Anyway I'm rambling, like I do in real life, so plz enjoy this chapter.**

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

**WARNING BAD LANGUUAGE & SMALL LEMON'S**

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**"Ichigo" a gentle voice said in my ear, waking me up from a dreamless sleep. My eyes adjusted to the dim light coming from outside. My head was resting on Grimmjow's hard, smooth chest. I turned to look at his perfect face; he was smiling, his bright, light blue eyes staring back at me. I reached under the covers and held his hard, thick, smooth dick in my hand. He chuckled and moaned at the same time. "We gotta go to school, babe"

"Nah" I said resting my head back on his chest and pulling myself closer to him, my dick rubbing against his naked leg.

"Yah" he said as he ran his fingers following the muscles in my back. I kissed his perfect lips and smiled.

"I still think I'm dreaming"

A sudden sharp pain in my wrists made me shut my eyes. I opened them in spite my pain because I felt Grimmjow was no longer there. "Grimmjow?" I asked silently, but there was nobody there, and my room somehow seemed completely different, the same, but different. Dead in some way.

I then heard the water running in my bathroom, had it been on all this time and I just noticed or did someone just turn it on? I started walking towards it, my chest tingled with fear. My body was on alert, it knew something wasn't right, that something was about to happen.

I entered the bathroom, the curtain was shut and the room was filled with steam from the hot water running.  
"Grimmjow?" I asked, hoping I was wrong and everything had really happened. No reply.  
I stretched my arm slowly towards the curtain, afraid of what I would find, afraid of finding I was dreaming.

I pushed the curtain aside and opened my eyes in shock. Lying on the floor with hot water falling over him was my body.  
I looked at myself, my wrists bleeding, lying unconscious on the floor.  
I felt fear, pain and confusion at the same time. What was happening? Was I dead and all this was like my heaven?

"Grimmjow?" I asked, somehow knowing he wouldn't answer. Something was wrong. I was dreaming; I knew it couldn't be true, I wanted it to be, but it wasn't.

I closed my eyes, feeling the hole in my chest opening again, fast and strong. At the same time my wrists throbbed in pain. I closed my eyes.  
"Wake up. Wake up, Ichigo. Wake up" I kept saying, trying to make the nightmare end. I opened my eyes and I was in a bright room.  
"Ichigo?" a soft voice said. It was Grimmjow's, who was standing next to the bed I was lying on. "Hey! Somebody! He woke up!" he started yelling.

"Still... dreaming?" I struggled to say. I felt dizzy.  
"No!" Grimmjow said, his perfect face was distorted with joy and relief. "Why'd you do it, Ichigo" he asked in horror.  
"What" I asked, still dizzy.  
"Why'd you try to kill yourself" he said in my ear as he tried hugging me; it was awkward because I was too dizzy to move and hug him back, but it still felt nice. Then I realized what he had said, and the image of me unconscious in the shower, bleeding, flashed in my brain.

Why would I do that? How could I do that? I imagined my mom screaming. I felt so ashamed, and then I remembered.

I started crying and I couldn't stop. The hole inside my chest had taken my entire body; all the pain I had buried had blown the walls I had built around it; now I couldn't hide it any longer. It hurt too much. "Oh God" I said pained as I thought of Grimmjow and Shirosaki."Please kill me" I begged. I didn't want to feel anymore.

I had taken a blade. The warm water kept falling. I cut one arm, I was in a trance. I cut the other.  
The water fell on me. I waited.  
It hurt. The warm water tried washing away the blood. Pain. Darkness.

I returned to the bright, hospital room. Now next to Ichigo were his parents. "Oh baby! Why!" my mom cried as she laid her head on my chest. My dad looked worried and relieved. I was too ashamed to look at him and to pained to look at Grimmjow, I knew it couldn't be real. I knew I would never be with him. I looked away, tears filling my eyes.

Naturally, my parents made me go to therapy. It didn't do much because I wasn't the sharing type, however I did tell my parents I was gay. They cried but took it really well.  
Life after a suicide attempt was difficult, I didn't find life unbearable anymore because now my secret was known by my parents, and I had their support.

In school, teachers, friends and classmates treated me like I would break, so they laughed at absolutely everything I said ( I was funny but even I had my share of bad jokes), everyone tried helping me with everything, it was really annoying. Even Ms Bitch was extremely nice to me; I didn't know she could be. The only good thing about this was that Grimmjow never left my side. I wasn't sure if this would be good for me or not.

"Hey Grimmjow" one day in Lit class I said.

"Yeah, bud" he turned to see me. The situation was bittersweet; I had imagined everything that had happened, but while I was in that imaginary world it felt so real that it made me feel better inside.

"Did you?" I stopped. If that hadn't happened either I wasn't sure how he would take it. Although I was the suicide guy so I don't think he would stop talking to me if it hadn't happened.  
"Did you make out with Shirosaki?" I whispered as the teacher went on about the Romans. Grimmjow looked at me shocked as my heart beat hard in my chest. I looked at my wrists, there were pretty bad scars on them; doctor said they would never completely erase, but at least they had healed  
"That's why you did it?" he finally asked. I looked at him horrified.´  
"It happened?" I felt the hole inside me open violently.  
The bell rang and without missing a beat, everyone stood and started out the door. Except Grimmjow and me.  
"That's why you did it?" Grimmjow's face was filled with guilt. I didn't know how to respond. "I'm sorry" he said quietly. "So you're gay too?"  
I looked at him, my heart stopped beating and it was hard to breathe. The hole in my chest filled with the hope that my dream was becoming real that he made out with Shirosaki because he wanted to be with me.

"Why did you make out with Shirosaki?" I blurted. He shook his head; he was as surprised and confused as me.  
"Because- because of you" he whispered.

"I think I can make it now, the pain is gone  
All of the bad feelings have disappeared  
Here is the rainbow I've been praying for  
It's gonna be a bright, bright  
Sun-Shiny day…"

**END**

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**Hey guys, at first I thought of changing the ending because it seemed a little fairytaily, but at the end I liked it so I hope u liked it too.**

**There will be a sequel to this story and it will be called Changes to Torn!**

**PLEASE REVIEW**!


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